their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize