make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
