I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
