im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
