dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
