and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I think I sprained my soul last night
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
