You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
