The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
