I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
