people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
