i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
