My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
