My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
