He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
