dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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