we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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