Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
