If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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