This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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