How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
