I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
bring money and cleavage
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
