i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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