is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Randomize
