Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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