I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
