you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
This baby is an asshole
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
