did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
