At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
