My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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