I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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