I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
