direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
