If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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