Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
