If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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