well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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