did you get engaged???
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
