Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
