a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
