I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize