I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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