He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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