I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
