Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
