remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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