and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
