if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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