I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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