Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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