I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She said her name was "party"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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