not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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